“Why do you like cooking so much?”

“Why do you like cooking so much?”

 

This is a question that has been asked by different people with different tone in different situations. On one fine evening when I was having lunch with some friends, the question came up in a subtly condescending manner. The tone implied the refusal to comprehend: why do I voluntarily forgo such labour intensive work? Why don’t I spend that time reading, studying and doing something more ‘valuable’?

 

My kitchen is in full motion right now. Half of thick autumn yellow pumpkin, free of clinging seeds. is being steamed, making a gentle hissing sound. My first ever kombucha is burping and growing day by day, cosily wrapped around an electric blanket in the dark cupboard. The tiramisu mixture I just made for the first time all by myself (it is a full-on arm workout, for those who may have not yet tried) is waiting for Pedro. When he comes, we will dip the charming ladyfingers in icy cold coffee with tint of kahula. As if these are not enough, a potful of red beans are being soaked, ready to be made into red bean paste.

 

These are the cynical questions that dragged me to the puddle of guilt whenever I took a breather from the fun chaos of the kitchen.

1. Why do you want to cook when you can use your brain?
2. Do you want to be a housewife for the rest of your life?
3. Why don’t you work on something more ‘respected’ or ‘productive’, like programming, writing a paper or teaching?
4. What happened to your big grand ambition?
5. Don’t you want to be ‘successful’?
(6. Can you not do it in your free time? Must it be an ‘occupation’?)

 

You get the gist. Of course, all these questions are being asked (inside my head) under the assumption that working in the kitchen is somehow lowly and plebeian. Such assumption, hidden in my subconscious somewhere should be interrogated. I have put the words that demand in- depth explanation in quotation marks. They are the key words that will clarify my attitude towards my innate passion for the subject.

 

I used the word ‘subject’ precisely because I cannot quite pinpoint yet what it is about cooking I fervently enjoy. Besides the actual process of using my body to create a concoction of various ingredients, I also devour literature on food. I can listen to audio recordings by Ruth Reichl for the whole day, chuckling at her brutal honesty and ornate yet down- to- earth descriptions of every food in her work. Writings by Mark Bittman, the Minimalist, are also other source of inspiration, with his fervent advocation of home cooking and healthy diet. I am just about to embark on the journey led by M.F.K. Fisher, after reading that she was Reichl’s heroine. I only read a few pages of ‘Art of Eating’, and it already seems exciting. Furthermore, I love hosting and throwing parties for guests who appreciate my creation. So I am yet to discover along the way where my precise passion lies. Is it cooking delicious yet provocative food? Is it writing about anything and everything to do with food? Is it advocating home- cooking with more personal and intimate approach to each individual’s diet? Is it hosting and creating the ambience of coziness that many people find comfortable and welcoming? Can it be all? As you can see, the opening question ‘why do I like cooking so much?’ was the very tip of the iceberg. Well, one has to start somewhere of the iceberg, so the tip may be a good place to start.

 

I love cooking because it is just so fun. The tactile sensualness I get from holding a fresh cold chicken breast, hearing the crisp sound of dicing purple onion, watching a flowing pool of egg yolks that are beaten, safe in a impeccably white bowl… Cooking is a pure sensual pleasure. Of course there are less joyful moments, like burning my finger from an overheated pan, or tasting inedible piece of kimchi that was over-salted by miles. Still, even these moments are part of the fun, as they push you to appreciate a very well- done tiramisu.

 

I love cooking because it gives me a sense of purpose. When I deal with various fresh and frozen ingredients, I am as close as I can get with the fundamentals that make my body and soul. As Bittman once said, home cooking is something everyone can have direct control, unlike global warming or economic depression. That is why I enjoy my regular grocery trips, because cooking begins from markets: selecting ingredients that will compose my body. It is up to me how much sugar or salt guacamole or banana bread has. Such agency over the fundamentals of food gives me the flexibility over flavour, unlike the too- sweet, too- dry banana bread from a supermarket which I had no say in the making process whatsoever.

 

I love cooking because it is an act of creation. An act of creation that yields the creation shared by many. We who create something we really love, whether it is a piece of music, a fully repaired car or a website, share the immense fulfilment. The fulfilment comes when we see that abstract something in our heads realise into something tangible, something real. I baked my first bread a few days ago, and the fulfilment that rose inside me when I saw the end product was extremely satisfying. The process towards such fulfilment starts humble: the warm gooey touch from kneading of the bread, the awe at seeing slowly but surely swelling bread by the magical process of fermentation, the wonderful smell of baking bread, these all accumulate to the climax. With all the five senses working in full swing, I floated around the kitchen in the growing fulfilment, counting seconds for the bread to complete. When the bread was finished and I caught the glimpse of glowing breads in the oven, I experienced the fulfilment at its fullest.

 

Who said the ‘art consists of limitation’? I disagree, because the moment I had my first bite of the bread, the fulfilment which I thought reached its peak grew by a few more inches. Soft, gentle flour was waltzing with sweet red beans in my mouth, using my tongue as a stage. Furthermore, when I saw Pedro and his family enjoying every bite of the home-made bread, the fulfilment grew even more!

 

So let’s go back to the questions.
 

1. Why do you want to cook when you can use your brain?

I would argue that cooking WELL is an intellectually vigorous task. To cook well, you have to understand the nature of every ingredient and the harmony different concoction will create. Creating something inherently requires the engagement of brain.

 

2. Do you want to be a housewife for the rest of your life?
Nope.

 

3. Why don’t you work on something more ‘respected’ or ‘productive’, like programming, writing a paper or teaching?
Who decides which work is more ‘respected’ or ‘respectable’?
Since the conventionally desired profession changes over time, (with the exception of medical and legal professions, neither of which are my passion) I will have to go with my gut: food and education.

 

4. What happened to your big grand ambition? 
Sorry, what was my grand ambition? I don’t remember. You’ll have to remind me.

 
5. Don’t you want to be ‘successful’?
What do you mean by ‘success’? For me, it is waking up everyday so excited to do what I love, and making best of the opportunity and resources around me. I would like to be the “best” for my certain area of expertise, but since I have not yet decided the area I want to ‘specialise’ in, I cannot elaborate on this point.

 

6. Can you not do it in your free time? Must it be an ‘occupation’?
Why divide up the time into ‘free-time’ and ‘occupation’? These words have implied polarity underneath: former implying positivity and fun, while the latter insinuating mandatory, negative and not-so-fun nature. I do not think such white-and-black attitude towards how to spend one’s time is healthy. I am not quite sure if I want to take up cooking professionally, but I choose to devote every single minute of my precious time doing what I love. In short, ‘FUN EVERY DAY!’

There’s no app for good teaching

THERE’S NO APP FOR GOOD TEACHING:
1. Keep learning goals ahead of the technology.
2. Opt for the open- ended.
3. Don’t let tech make learning easy.
4. Take feedback seriously.
5. Stay skeptical of individualised learning- for now.
6. Bring in student interests, authentically.
7. Start conversations.
8. Make it open, make it better.

Philosophy of Cashew Nuts

I love cashew nuts. Every time I eat a handful of cashews, I am amazed at how each batch, depending on how they are treated, taste so remarkably different.  Whether they are oven- baked, sea- salted, toasted or honey- roasted, each treatment completely transforms how they taste like.

Yet they taste more or less the same, at its core, at its fundamental.

If we use the analogy of cashew nuts to us, human beings, the analogy becomes more interesting. The cashew nuts’ fundamental taste can be seen as his or her core values. These values are innate, meaning they are instinctive and born with the person, stay with the person throughout his or her lifetime. Whether they become visible or invisible, depends hugely on the person’s surroundings.

If somebody from Mars asks me how does cashew nut taste like, I will have hard time to describe it. I will probably say, “Go and find out yourself!” On the similar note, I think one’s true core values can only be discovered and appreciated by oneself. Regardless of how much coaching and guidance one gets from others, nobody can know me better than myself.

Of course, human beings are social beings. Thus, we are ‘treated’ by the environment we spend most time with, regardless whether the environment was deliberately chosen by the person or not. Even when the person does not like the environment and refuses to belong or assimilate to the surroundings, the reactionary reaction itself influences the person’s values and attitude. Human beings can be toasted, baked, fried, honey- coated or sea- salted, in their relationship with the society.

Nevertheless, there is one fundamental difference between cashew nuts and human beings. Cashew nuts do not have a say in how they wanted to be treated. Human beings do. We have a choice. We human beings can make a deliberate choice amongst a wide gamut of options. We also have mental capability of figuring out what our fundamental values are. Thus, by choosing one’s own environment with conscious awareness of one’s values, one is choosing how one is to be ‘treated’.

Math 101: A reading list for lifelong learners

Beginning of an Explorative Stage

Until now, I was being lazy in drawing big pictures for my life. I wanted to gain college degree and the four years that are required to get the degree so I can postpone asking myself big, tough questions. Big, touch questions being:

“What do I REALLY want to DO with my life?”

“What values do I stand for?”

“What values do I want to create?”

I thought if I got into Stanford, Harvard, or those ‘big- name’ colleges, answers would automatically and naturally come out.

How lazy I was.

I now know that physically putting myself into the gorgeous, highly desired college campus cannot provide me with answers. Intellectual people and stimulating community would have definitely increased the chances of asking these tough questions and possibly coming up with few answers. But I would not have reached the real, sincere answer that truly trickled out of my heart. I would have been blinded by the pride of having the Harvard name on my resume. I would have been blinded by the deep- rooted desire to ‘look good’, to get the feel- good approval from those around me.

The blind of pride, prejudice and snobbishness has been removed from my eyes. I now realise that a certain place, certain people cannot define who I am. No one, no place, nothing can provide me with those answers. ONLY I CAN.

I want to create value.
I want to DO something.
I want to suggest way of learning that can prepare students for the 21st century.

The traditional colleges can no longer prepare students to disrupt and innovate. How can they? When students are told to follow the class rules, respect the hundreds years of tradition, feel suffocated in the old smell of wood?
I am not sure if I want to hide behind the ‘name value’ and ‘degree’ offered by traditional higher education system. Instead, I want to learn skills that will equip me with ability to create and make real changes for better.

I want to learn skills that will equip me with the foundation to create, like programming, UX/UI design and foreign languages. The good news is I have already begun learning Ruby.

Then really CREATE something.

“I HAVE NEVER LET MY SCHOOLING INTERFERE WITH MY EDUCATION.” 

MARK TWAIN

.

What values do I stand for?
1. Curiosity
2. Open- mindedness: accepting that we are all different.
3. Risk- taking, adventurous
4. Independence
5. Creativity
6. Compassion. Team work. (something pass the level of leadership.)

What values do I want to create?
1. I want to create college/ school I want to go.

What features would my school have?
– Programming language: CS class for everyone.
(regardless of your area of specialty, digital literacy would be a tremendous problem for any future leader).
– Understanding of design.
– Emotional Empathy (Jolly Good Fellow; EQ programme)
– A real- life project at the end of graduation. Demo- day for your achievement. On any field the student is interested in. Can be a startup, NGO, platform, piece of art.. have to demonstrate what problem he/she was trying to solve & how did she/he tackle it & why her solutions are great & philosophy behind her project & what makes her project unique over others’ work.)
– Mandatory study- abroad
– Weekly outdoor activity (team based)
– Crazy creative projects (build-a-boat, egg drop etc.)
– Class sessions for active discussion and debate. Knowledge- consumption must be done individually/ communally outside of the classroom. To make the best use of time.
– Age- flexibility. Anyone between 20 – 30 can apply.

Why am I striving for offline school?
– Because there are certain limits to online school. Most importantly, the communal feeling that can only come from daily interaction.

2. I want to make Korean (Asian) kids happy. Happy that they can learn. Happy that they can grow and explore the things that they are truly interested in. Happy that they don’t have to be someone else. Happy that they are themselves. Happy that they don’t have to look good to feel confident and fulfilled.

I love this quote, so I shall repeat once more.

“I HAVE NEVER LET MY SCHOOLING INTERFERE WITH MY EDUCATION.” 

MARK TWAIN

C and Ruby.

I am exhausted. Unsurprising given I have had a month, literally a month of exams, one a week. Some might retort that my case is so much better than those who have 7 exams crammed all in one week. Well, that is certainly not great, but a month- long exam period prolongs psychological pressure and puts extra tension. But I am done. 

I am continuing with programming. I am dipping my heads into Ruby as well as C on my own, because I would really like to get into Dev Bootcamp. (Dev Bootcamp requires all the applicants to have basic literacy of Ruby.) My interview is this week, and I am very nervous. The process of application never gets easier. In preparation for the interview, I completed the class on Ruby in Codecademy, as well as getting on with LearnRubyTheHardWay programme. It is insane how much resources that exist on the Web. To programme Ruby, I started off with free- trial of RubyMine. Then, after some hassles, I managed to use Terminal and text editor called Text Wrangler.

Tread on, tread on. 

2014/06/07- Recursive function & Bubble Sorting

After a week of struggling to get my head around ‘recursive function’, I finally understand it. 

Recursive function is when a function calls itself within the function. My homework was to create a programme using recursive function on Fibonacci numbers. I am so happy to tell you that it took me less than an hour to figure this one out! 

Now I am moving on to this sorting method called “Bubble Sorting”. I am going through the usual trial and error process of confusion and thrill. 

 

 

2014/06/05- Avid Audibler

–

I love my car because it provides a private space for me to listen to my daily dose of audiobook. Unlike my room where I am constantly bombarded with screaming noises of my siblings or shouting by my grandma, my car is free from gibberish. In this private pristine bubble, there are only me and the author (delivered by the reader). This jabber- free environment allows me to focus and contemplate on the opinions and perspectives I am provided with. Also, I am always on my way to somewhere in my car, so I am definitely not wasting any time. I hate wasting any time- life is too short to lavish my time on something not worthwhile. In fact, I am making the most of my time by multitasking. What more can I ask for?

The list of books I have ‘read’ by listening to audiobook includes: “Hard things about Hard things” by Ben Horowitz, “How High Will You Fly?” by Seth Godin, “Start with Why” by Simon Sinek and I have started with “Orphan Master’s Son” by Adam Johnson. The most recent addition is a novel, unlike the previous three. I am finding that listening to a novel is more difficult to follow than a non- fiction, primarily because there are so many characters and the scenes change so swiftly to create engaging story line. In contrast, non- fiction is more about delivering information so the flow is more coherent and it is usually read by one person.

How many books will I get through in my life time? 100? 1000? 10,000? I’ll keep a record.

2014/06/21- Why do I code?

The above picture is a programme that sums up the ten numbers you enter on the screen. It looks simple, and it is simple. But as all of you who are learning coding will agree, coming up with this solution was NOT simple. That said, I am happy to report that I am getting quicker in the process. It took me literally a week to figure out the problem on (a^b), while this one only took me a day. “Practice makes perfect”, I couldn’t agree more. (That said, there is this evil side of me wanting to obtain perfection asap, and feeling annoyed at myself for being slow as a turtle. Why cannot one be perfect without practice? What ‘perfection’ am I aiming for, by learning how to programme? I often find myself asking these hard and almost unanswerable questions. I usually come up with answers after some time, but they are rarely satisfactory.)

In the article two days ago, I wrote I will explain my reasons on why on earth I started to learn coding. Well, here are the answers.

I have been aware of ‘learning how to code’ phenomenon for awhile. All that time, I sincerely thought that I cannot possibly good at coding, coding and programming are for maths genius, and I should not even think of trying. It would be a waste of my time. What broke this unproductive and degrading self- indoctrination was my friend who sent me a link to “Codecademy”. Without giving much thought, I started a course on HTML5 and CSS. I was hooked. During my 20th Century Chinese and Japanese history class, I would be going through the chapters and earning badges, then earning more badges. Then, I realised I wanted to know more, and dig deeper into the field. After asking around some people, I have been lucky to be landed with my friend who is taking me through intense C- language tutorial. When I first met her, I explained thus: “I want to found a startup. It’s most likely to be IT- related, and the common sense tells me that I should have at least basic knowledge on IT to bring a talented programmer to my team and communicate with him/ her effectively. Also, my gut feeling from studying History tells me that I MUST know how IT works in order to contribute something valuable to the society. I also think I can act as an effective bridge between those who don’t know a thing about IT and programmers, since there is a serious lack of communication between the two groups in Korea. The current treatment of programmers in Korean society is just ridiculous- they are leaving this country in search for better treatment! Talented and hard- working programmers should be taken extra care of, especially if Korea wants to expand its influence in global IT market.” And after a little chuckle, I said “oh, and I also want to create something that goes beyond Google.”

+ I want to create. I refuse to just consumer anymore. I am a producer.

+ The scalability of IT is like no other industry.

+ It’s a challenge. I like challenge.

 

Why did YOU start to learn how to programme? 

 

 

2014/05/30- Ship it.

I have been frustrated for a long time. Frustrated with what, you may ask. You attend the best university in Korea, you have a loving family, you have traveled around the world, what more can you want? For a long time, I was not sure what the actual cause was, either. Then it became clear. I don’t remember the exact moment, but it probably was when I was going through pages of news, opinions and writings online, written by people all over the world, my usual way of ‘stimulating’ my brain. 

The single quote around the word ‘stimulating’ is not only sarcastic, but deliberate. For the past twenty years of my life, I have been so thirsty and eager to read and learn. I still am, and there definitely is more pro than con in this obsession. However, I have reached the point of saturation for some time. And being stuck in the point of saturation with continued input without output, I was FRUSTRATED. It was like having pond water in your head that was rotting away from lack of circulation. The frustration came from my subconscious realisation that just having more input was not ‘stimulating’. I was just consuming, not producing. Still, I endlessly consumed the endless supply of online and offline contents. More input, no output.

Then came Seth Godin in my life, with his wonderful book “How High Will You Fly?”. In his book, he challenges everyone to create and be an ARTIST. The act of creating must be accompanied by the actual SHIPPING of the idea, rather than keeping it ‘safe’ in your head. The following extract was by far most important to me in starting this log:

“Just write. Write poorly. Continue to write poorly, in public, until you can write better.

Everyone should learn to write in public. Get a blog. Or use Squidoo or Tumblr or a microblogging site. Use an alias if you like. Turn off comments, certainly- you don’t need more criticism; you need more writing. 

Do it every day. Every single day. Not a diary, not fiction, but analysis. Clear, crisp, honest writing about what you see in the world. Or want to see. Or teach (in writing). Tell us how to do something.

If you know you have to write something every single day, even a paragraph, you will improve your writing. The resistance, of course, would rather have you write nothing, not speak up in public, keep it under wraps.

If you’re concerned only with avoiding error, then not writing is not a problem, because zero is perfect and without defects. Shipping nothing is safe. Fortunately, the second- best thing to zero is something better than bad. So if you know you have to write tomorrow, your brain will start working on something better than bad. And then you’ll inevitably redefine bad and tomorrow will be better than that. And on and on. 

Write like you talk. Often.”

 

Boom. Here was the solution to my frustration. JUST WRITE. If the lack of output is a problem, then the solution? Creating output. Writing. 

Write about WHAT? I did not want to jot down mundane every day stuff about what I had for lunch. After thinking for awhile, the idea came to me: CODING. 
I have started to learn how to program in C language literally this month. For those who have known me for some time, learning how to code would be the last thing that would be associated with me. (FYI: I am a History major and officially proclaimed Maths was my worst enemy since my childhood.) So what made me start coding? Well, we will find out in next piece of writing. Anyway, with the hype of learning how to code all over the world, I was sure there are plenty of us out there who are going through the same sense of frustration, delight and confusion all mixed together in the process of learning how to code. So I thought logging my experience would be both useful for myself, for those who are going through the same situation, and for those who want to learn but have not started yet. Providing a sense of camaraderie, if you like. 

So, let’s go back to to the point of having ‘output’. I will share my process of learning how to code, in C language, to be specific. This will help me both to relieve my internal frustration, as well as hopefully help those who are a little scared to have a go at it. Trust me, if I can do it, you can do it, too. 

I now realise that the act of endlessly consuming the articles by others was not an act of ‘stimulation’. Instead, it was an act of ‘hibernating’ my brain, hence the lack of output. With actually shipping my thoughts through writing, my chronic frustration is already a little relieved. I hope to convert this negative frustration with positive production through coding and writing. 

(I usually have my coding tutorial twice a week, Wednesday and Saturday, respectively. I will try to write after each lesson: what I learned, how I feel, while building up to what I want to build with this skill in future.)